Sokka on
by Sokka aka Wang Fire
Summary: What happens when our favorite meat and sarcasm man goes rambling on about improbable things in the world? This is Sokka's insight on things found in movies or everyday life, so brace your brains and get ready to be drawn into this brain blowing and mind melting conundrum. I would classify this as Insight with humor dabbled in. PS: We have Cabbageman in C7! A big thanks to CI!
1. Time Travel

Sokka on… Time travel (Please bear through this confusing concept, it gets better.)(This is my very first article i have ever written on fanfiction so its not too great. the other ones are much better)

This is the beginning of a series of ramblings on miscellaneous subjects by our favorite man of meat, sarcasm, logic and science. We will be contemplating many subjects ranging from bending to censoring to paradoxes. Reader topic suggestions will be appreciated. So without further ado, the disclaimer.

(Do I even need this?) I don't own the cast of this story (DUH!). Mike and Brian have that pleasure. Never again will you see that. (Toph didn't even see it, heh heh heh…)

You all know those days when all you feel like doing is laying on your bed and staring at the ceiling fan. Well Katara Sokka and Aang are having one of those days and they have nothing better to do than lay on their backs with their heads on koala-sheep and stare at clouds. Toph and sparky couldn't make it cause let's face it they have a frikkin country and metal bending academy to run. Enough explanation! Onward!

-жЖж-

"Hey Sokka, do you ever wonder what we would be doing right now if we could've gone back in time and stopped the war?"

"What kind of question is that!? Time travel is completely and utterly impossible for a number of reasons. For time travel to even exist there would have to be no concept of time. The past, present, and future would all have to be happening at the same time." Even if we go with Hue's philosophy of, 'Pants are an illusion therefore so is time' what would happen during the time you were in the past? Time would have to either go on without you or freeze. Or what if you travelled into the future? You wouldn't be able to see yourself or how you impacted the world because you climbed in a time machine and disappeared for who knows how many years. Another thing, what if you went back in time to the same time period ten times? Would there be ten of you running around giving people déjà vu? Or if you went into the past to fix something and you fixed it, there would be no reason for you to go into the past. Therefore, you wouldn't have traveled into the past, and you completely mess up time. Or what happens if you go back in time to the same time period twice and something you do on your second trip causes you to be unable to go back to the 'present' which technically doesn't exist and you would be unable to take your second trip to the past so you'd destroy the space time continual."

"Ok Sokka we get it," Katara interrupts, tired of hearing Sokka's monologue.

"Now if that didn't happen but you went into the past or future, which technically don't exist if time travel is possible, and you stayed in one of those time periods what would happen to you? Would your body stay the same, would it return to your 'present' size when you went back to the 'present', or would it appear to your family and friends that you just drastically changed overnight. Or what if you travelled to the past, ate, and then came back? Would you still be hungry or would that food have disappeared?"

Katara and Aang just glance at each other and shake their heads in disapproval. "I wonder if he'll even notice if we leave,"

"I doubt it, my brother can be very absentminded. Let's blow this meatsicle stand." They walk over to Appa who was grazing next to Sokka's Eelhound, and take off, flying directly over the still rambling Sokka.

"So now you see, when you put time travel up against simple logic and science it fails to even be remotely plausible. So does that answer your question Aang?"

"…"

"Aang?"

-жЖж-

Now I can read your mind. You are saying, "There's five minute of my life I'll never get back." Just looking at this concept confuses me and I'm the one who wrote the darn thing! Yes Sokka has an Eelhound. What do you think happened to the one he rode to the airship base in the finale? Well I hope you enjoyed it PM me or review if you have any questions, comments, critiques, or just feel like I need to not continue this. On Monday, Sokka shall dispute the particularities of bending.

До свидания (Pronounced "Das-veedanya") (meaning "Until we meet" in Russian)

PS: A meatsicle is just meat on a stick as shown in Episode 2 season 3, The Headband.


	2. Bending

You ready for more wacky, timewasting nonsense? That's rhetorical, cause whether you're ready or not, here it comes.

-жЖж-

**Sokka on… Bending**

During a trip to Omashu for an international peace summit, Sokka reflected on his first trip to the city. "Hmm. That's odd." Sokka said to no one in particular. "You know, Mr Eelhound, earthbending is a really weird concept. What actually happens when you bend a column of earth out of the ground? Where does the earth come from? Is there a hole on the other side of the earth whenever you bend earth out of the ground or does it disrupt the core of the earth?" Sokka pondered, "What about Omashu's doors that you have to open via earthbending? They part in the middle with the doors opening horizontally, where's the earth going? Does the earth to the side of the doors disappear magically or… well there's no other explanation. It's a giant conspiracy! Just like Appa's ability to fly. He waves his tale every few minutes and voila! He flies! You know how much effort it should take for Appa to fly? There would have to be over ten tons of air pressure pushing downward at all times, so we wouldn't be able to fly anywhere without a giant downdraft coming from our bison. I never saw that in any of our travels! What about Aang's airbending? He was a master airbender when I met him, yet he couldn't beat Zuko, who at the time only knew the basics! I mean come on! He should have been able to beat him blindfolded. I think it's just pure idiocracy." Sokka fumed, "And why couldn't Toph have located Boomerang and Space Sword with her bending after the battle? She located ants on a frikkin hill from forty feet away! Also while on the subject of stuff Toph didn't do, why couldn't she have told Aang that Azula and the Dai Lee were in the Firelord's chamber in the bunker on the day of black sun? And speaking of the day of black sun, how did an eclipse make fire benders lose their bending!? They can still bend at night and that's basically the same thing!" Sokka noticed the earth kingdom city on the horizon and said "When I get to Omashu, Bumi, Aang, Appa and Zuko have a whole lot of explaining to do."

-жЖж-

Well that's all Sokka has to say about that. Sorry the chapter's a little short but I figure I shouldn't confuse you much more. The next update shall occur next Thursday. If you have read this please review and feel free to hand out constructive criticism. Thanks for reading! Next time we will discuss something that I do not know right now so feel free to drop a suggestion and if I like it I will definitely use it.

До свидания


	3. Sokka on Airheads

Today's the day! The sun is shining, tank is clean, and we are getting out of… The tank is clean! It's the moment at least 6 of you have been waiting for. Today Sokka will be covering the utter stupidity of certain airheads in the wonderful world of ATLA. I first must mention that you guys that followed this story are completely awesome! I got six more followers than expected! You guys made my week! You guys and gals are all added to my list of favorite people! Ok let's get into the business of idiocracy!

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Aang and Sokka are headed to some location for some reason and they are riding on Appa

"Hey Aang, can I ask you a question?"

"What's on your mind?"

"What was the air nomad's philosophy on fighting?"

"You don't remember when I was fighting Bumi? He hit it on the head. It was to escape and evade."

"Oh yeah… They weren't very good at that were they."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because of what happened during the Sozin's Comet 100 years ago. A group of air nomads who had flying bison saw a group of firebenders coming up a mountain in full armor. It would've taken days for them to climb up the cliffs around the southern air temple and by then the air nomads could've easily fled. I mean come on! Even if they had only traveled at night there was nowhere to hide during the day. I'm sorry Aang but the nomads basically played right into their own genocide. And didn't the nomads say that they needed to train you because they saw bad omens. Another thing, if you were already an airbending master, why did they need to continue training you? Shouldn't you have moved on to start mastering waterbending?"

"Well I'm sure they had some excuse for keeping me at the temple."

"Shush, let me continue my ranting. Anyways, you and Gyatso were close right? Right. But, he didn't search for you or send out search parties. I mean you're only the Avatar, they don't have time to go out looking for you, they have more important things to do such as baking fruit pies. Seriously! If they had sent out search parties some of the monks would of escaped the genocide. Speaking of escaping genocide, how come all of the air nomads were at the temple during the comet? They knew something bad was about to happen, the comet was coming, and they couldn't put two and two together. No offence Aang but your people were idiots. Moronic idiots."

"But the air nomads were philosophers; many of them had reached enlightenment and were very wise."

"Really… Cause how I see it is that they perceived bad tidings, all grouped together at the temples, let the Avatar go without sending out search parties, didn't care about the army of firebenders climbing up their mountain, and didn't leave when the firebenders attacked. They sound like one brilliant bunch to me."

-жФЖФж-

Well in the words of porky pig, "Th-th-th-that's all folks!" Reviews would be **greatly** appreciated and speaking of reviews I would like to thank Quietly-insane 12 for her grand review and say that that was the first time I have ever been called philosophical. You rock! Next week I will discuss the stupidity of more peoples in ATLA. If you review you can choose who we destroy. Otherwise, I will discuss the idiocracy and illogicalities of the watertribes. That's all, thanks again for bearing through the first and second chapter. If you like this format better just let me know (You like the modified transition? (Looks cool doesn't it)). I feel like this style is better so I will stick with it unless you say otherwise.

До свидания

BTW: if you haven't noticed my update schedule is every Monday and Thursday unless otherwise stated. Updates will usually occur around 7 PM EST or earlier because I get excited about posting these chapters.


	4. Sokka on Hotheads

Sorry this is a little late, I took a Chewy Boba pitstop on the way back from hangin with my sister. Loooove Chewy Boba… anyways, the stupididty! I mean the story… same thing…

-жФЖФж-

**Sokka on… Hotheads**

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… (I know the Star Wars theme song came to mind) Sokka was travelling on a starship with Zuko to visit the planet of Kyoshi… Translation… Sokka forced Zuko to take him to Kyoshi Island. Reason: something Suki based, use your imagination! You have it for a reason!

"Hey Sparky, could you explain how Sozin's Comet makes firebenders so powerful? I mean it just seems odd."

"It's simple, the fire produced by the comet gives produces vast amounts of energy to firebenders, rendering them almost unbeatable."

"Wait one sea prune pickin second… Your saying that the heat and fire given off by a comet that flies waaaaay to close to the earth to not crash gives more power to you guys than lets say… a volcano that is only a couple hundred feet under your… feet… I guess."

"Yep, pretty much."

"That's just pure insane! Your saying that a hunk of rock that circles the earth every 100 years and creates a little fire is 100 times more powerful than a giant, continuously burning hunk of hydrogen… That makes perfect sense."

"When it comes to bending, I have learned to question nothing."

"That may work for you, but there has to be some, somewhat logical explanation… I mean come on, firebenders can't be that stupid as to not have an explanation for why their giant steroid doesn't work… well you guys can be pretty dumb."

"Hey!"

"It's True! You and your people can be complete idiots sometimes. I mean there were some soliders that thought that Momo could earthbend! Complete idiots! How bout combustion man!"

"Whoa whoa whoa… First of all, his name isn't combustion man. Secondly, how is he an idiot? He tracks you all over the world when you leave almost no trail. How is that considered being an idiot?"

"Well first of all, he turned down a chance at double payment for doing nothing."

"That was probably be-."

"Shush little Zuzu. Its Sokka time."

"Don't call me!"

"SHUT YOUR AIR HOLE!"

"Excuse me Firelord Zuko, do you require assistance" the guard known as Russell asked. (Come on admit that you've watched the movie, UP)

"No, Russell, as long as mr. watertribe calms down we will be alright." (Zuko seems like hewould be one of the awesome bosses that knows every employee by name… like Gru :D)

"You know why do we say calm down instead of calm up? I mean if you "calm down," then you'd be toning down the calmness. Therefore you would become wilder."

"It's an expression, just tell me why 'Combustion man'" Zuko making air quotations, "is an idiot."

"Well if I'm going to use an expression, I would at least make it make sense. Anyways, during our fight with Combustion Man at the Western Air Temple, Aang blew a tornado at the guy. So, what does he do. He flings himself off the building he was on and into an abyss. Brilliant. And you know what! There was no building for him to land on when he jumped! That dude must have had some impressive skills to be able to make a building instantly. POOF, BUILDING! Another case of stupidity struck when Ozai was fighting Aang. He shot lightning at him. He didn't think, 'Geez, since zuko was able toredirect mylighting I wonder if he taught that to the Avatar… probably not.' He's an idiot."

"Mulligan?"

-жФЖФж-

Recap, Russell is from the movie, "UP" and Watch, "The Western Air Temple" to see building bending.

TO THE GUESTS:

You guests know that I can see how many people view my story right? And you do know that you can review without having an account? All I ask for is one minute of your time to provide a little feedback. As I said before, it is **greatly** appreciated.

A SPECIAL THANKS TO…

My good friend Stkichi reviewed and I give him a public kudos! Cause he's awesome. More awesome people include: Quietly-insane12 (as I have mentioned before), Atarah Derek, and Stylinorcas. My story followers are amazing as well but you guys need to provide feedback like the amazing people listed above. Sorry you had to bear that but I need inspiration! I can't just keep pulling this out the whazoo!

Waterbending will be decimated next week. mostly waterbenders though. (Thanks to Quietly-insane12 for pointing out that I had nothing to let ya know whats goin on )Das it for now.


	5. Sokka on Watertribe Invasion

**The Bending Blues**

This message is brought to you by Stupid Inc., bringing stupidity to your attention since 1998. Now the first order of business or as I like to call it, FOOB. So the FOOB is to change the update schedule to Thursday and Monday Afternoon. I work best at night. So the SOOB (I wonder what that means?) is to thank my amazing reviewers and followers. You guys and gals are off the hizzook! Now without any more nonsense, more nonsense! "We are currently at the South Pole with Pakku and Kanna .

-жФЖФж-

"Gran-Paku!"

"I told you not to call me that."

"Now Sokka, it is best to respect your grandfather's wishes and call him what he wants to be called."

"And what would that be?"

"As I said before, Pakku will be fine."

"Alright… Grappu!"

"(Sigh) what will we ever do with you"

"Love me, feed me. Ooh! Speaking of feeding me, what's for dinner?"

"Sea Prunes."

"Yessssss!... How do we harvest Sea Prunes? I mean we live in the South Pole and I've never once seen them floating on the ocean. Also, where did we keep all of our food?"

"What do you mean, dear?"

"Well where do we keep the food for the winter? I mean it's pretty hard to hunt or gather the magically appearing seaprunes in darkness. So we would have to have a place to store the food in the winter, but I don't remember ever seeing one? Speaking of winter, since it was summer in the south pole, wouldn't it be winter in the North? But it was light outside when Aang was training with you." Also, there was a sunrise and sunset during the invasion of the North. We know it wasn't just the begging of summer or spring too because the summer solstice occurred before we arrived at the pole. HOW COULD THERE BE A FRIKKIN SUNRISE DURING A WINTER AT THE NORTH POLE! It's completely dark for six months straight then its light for six months. HOW DOES THAT INCLUDE A SUNRISE! Do the firebenders magically bring the sun to the north with them? Also speaking of the firebenders, why did Zhao stop his bombardment of the city when the sun that magically appeared wend down? I mean it wouldn't of done any harm to his forces to continue taking down the Watertribe's defenses with their Trebuchets. Also, Why didn't you rebuild the wall with waterbending after they stopped the bombardment? You could've delayed the taking of the city by hours, allowing the battle to take place mostly at night when you are the strongest."

"Well, we were patrolling!"

"A fine job you did of that too. Zuko snuck in right under your noses. Maybe it's because you had at most, eight nonbenders on the wall. What were you doing! Snoozing! If you were really serious about guarding your city you would have posted more guards on the wall and actually of been productive during the lapse in the combat! What were the fire navy's ships sitting in? WATER! What do you bend? WATER! All you had to do to stop the ships from making it to the wall was freeze the water in between their propeller blades. FOOF! No thrust! And when could you be doing this deed? At night when they can't see you and you're super strong! I remember that Katara could cut through a steel chain that pulled a submarine out of the water during the Day of Black Sun. so you know what you do? You cut all of the anchor chains, freeze the props, then make a big wave with all of the waterbenders! Bye Bye Navy!

-жФЖФж- 

So now you know and knowing is half the battle. Because knowledge is power. And with great power comes great responsibility. So drink responsibly. For your health. -What I Learned at SRU. Sorry this was late but better late than never. Grr. My internet crashed. Next week…Normality! or earthbending… U choose! You have till Monday.


	6. Sokka on The EK

**Sokka on… Earth, the element of stupidity, I mean surprise…**

Sorry bout missin the update yesterday, I had a fever of 103.5 and I was feelin like a bag o worms. And to my reviewers and subscribers, thanks! You guys are the bomb diggity! Yes, I just used "Bomb Diggity." Without further delay… Stuuuuuuuu-pi-di-teeeeee!

During a visit to the King Kuei's palace with the Gaang, Sokka starts posing a few questions to both the king and Toph.

-жФЖФж-

"Greetings your Earthiness! If you don't mind me asking, why are you and the Earth Kingdom people so stupid?"

"Excuse me Sokka? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talkin about the level of stupidity displayed by you and your people. I mean really, how did your generals never know about the war going on? They never sent out troops on training expeditions? Also, it didn't raise any red flags when all the communication with the other nations was cut off? How long was Long Feng (heh heh)the Cultural minister? He couldn't of been in that position longer than the generals on the council of five. They were old! How old was Long Feng? 45 at most! Some of the generals looked older than sixty! And what about the general who was on the wall when the drill attacked Ba Sing Se? Who did he report to?! Another thing, you told the Dai Lee to lock up their own leader…

"Well"

"(Buzzer sound), no stupid people cutting in on my shredding of their logic. Anyways, you told the Dai Lee to apprehend their own leader, who had been keeping the news of the war away from you with their help. And you think that they are loyal to you!? That takes a major class idiot to do that. Why wouldn't you arrest the Dai Lee for conspiring against you? They obviously weren't loyal to you. Why else would they carry around fake mustaches? (check out The Earth King episode right before Long Feng is arrested. Keep an eye on the Dai Lee too your right) And Toph, how could you claim to be the worlds first metalbender?"

"You sayin I wasn't the first metalbender, meathead?"

"Duh! What were the Dai Lees cuffs made out of? METAL! Sure their gloves were made out of earth, but their extendable handcuffs were metal… You'd have to be blind to not see that!"

"Helloooo" Toph waves her hand in front of her face, "I am, knucklebrain"

"(Another buzzer sound), doesn't count, with your earthsight you should've noticed something before I did! But guess what? You were oblivious to that fact, just like you were to the fact that Appa wasn't in that room under Lake Lougai. Also, you failed to mention that the Dai Lee were waiting for us! What about that time when we were running from Azula's tank and you failed to mention Appa's shedding? You couldn't voice your ideas anytime sooner?! Ugh! You're all a bunch of idiots! Other EK Stupidity includes that village that Zuko saved from the extorting soldiers. The old guy knew Zuko was banished and wasn't with the Fire Nation, yet just because he was Fire nation, they suddenly turn him from a hero into an enemy! Come on! No gratitude, no thanks from Lee's mother for saving her son. That much prejudice is stupid!" Sokka starts storming out of the palace mumbling, "Stupid King, stupid Toph, stupid Earth Kingdom, I would be better at ruling this nation with half a brain and no eyesight…"

-жФЖФж-

Again, I'm sorry for the delay. Funny story, I told my sister on Sunday "I haven't gotten sick in almost three years." Next day… 103.5 my temp isn't too high… Yea… real smart… Well for all of you that have been following book 2 of LoK, who else thinks that the old Fire Sage who helped Korra regain her memory in The Beginning Parts 1&2 is actually Azula? Just a Theory. Well thanks for your patience and thanks for the great reviews and feedback! Next week… I'll Fill this out when I get my idea back. Which i just did,The Next chapter is on... Cabbage Man! Thanks to the reviewer known as Atarah Derek no wait, that was Xiteph. Why i thougt it was Atarah i'll never know. but anyways, Great idea!


	7. My Cabbages!

**My Cabbages!**

Aye… time can really slip away from you… here I am at 11:05 PM and I just started my chapter. Thanks for your patience and coolness factor! I have a new name for all of you who follow and review my story… CI… Coolness Incarnate... you know das right! Anyway, to the story! I decided to make this more of a humorous interlude…

-жФЖФж-

"My cabbages!" the astonished merchant of leafy lettuce exclaimed, "hey… you are one of the Avatar's friends."

"Yea, that's right. Sorry bout your stand. So, we cool?"

"Cool! We are not cool! This is the sixth time my cabbage stand has been destroyed with you and your friends nearby or directly involved!" With that the cabbage merchant cabbages up out of his trashed cart and started chucking them at the unfortunate sword wielding warrior.

"Whoa!" Sokka yelped as the hail of lettuce shot toward him. He drew his sword and Fruit Ninja commenced. "What. (Slice) is. (Slice) it. (Slice) with you. (Slice) and. (Slice) your. (Slice) stupid (Slice) cabbages! (THWAM)… ouch… "

"Cabbages are not stupid you little brathole! Cabbages are the bloodline of the human race and they are tastier than meat!"

"Hold up! You did not just put cabbages above meat on the taste-o-meter. (Thwap!)"

"Shut your airhole you cabbage hating scum! You have no respect for the sacred art of cabbage selling!"

"Sacred art? Hah! The only thing I see sacred about your cabbage peddling is your ability to regenerate cabbage carts and cabbages!"

"What are you talking about vile cabbage trasher!"

"I'm talking about how you got another cabbage cart stocked with cabbages an hour after yours got knocked off Omashu's bridge. You're a cabbage merchant! You don't have insta-cabbage-carts! Lets say that somehow you found a cart to buy and cabbages to sell in it, but where would you have gotten the money for those things? You don't have tons of money laying around, you're a cabbage merchant for cryin out loud! Another thing that is odd is your love of these leaf balls! (Swack!) Grr… Taste your own rotten leaves!" Sokka chucks a cabbage into the merchants nose, "You know, these cabbages were perfectly good until you started throwing them at me."

"My node!"

"Shaddup. Another thing, how did you even relay all the extended info you gathered on me and the Gaang during out five brief encounters to Pu-on-Tim? He's Firenation! You were in Ba Sing Se, a recently conquered city, I don't think they would've let their citizens in until it was safe. I doubt they would've let you out too… speaking of Pu-on-Tim, if anyone ever makes some reenactment about our journey to save the world, I wouldn't want it to be him or anyone named M. Night Shylam, cause odds are that both of them would base the reenactments of Pu-on's play."

"Where did that come from?"

"I don't know… I just felt like that needed to be said…"

"Odd…"

-жФЖФж-

Sorry this is so late… I despise pre-calc… but thanks for reading! I know this didn't have as much satire and making fun of the show, but I figured we could use a little break. Somewhat… thanks all you CI's for being CI's, I appreciate all your support and look forward to seeing you next week! Vote on what you want to hear next, or I'll just have to come up with something on my own.

I've been forgetting this for a while… whoops

До Свидания

And we'll add another word for goodbye, this is the informal version of До Свидания

.

Пока (sounds like "Poka")

PS: I think Shylam based the movie off, _The Boy in the Iceberg_. Who else is with me?


	8. Sokka on Puppets?

Sokka on… Puppets?

"For multiple accounts of malicious destruction of cabbages, you, Sokka of the Southern Watertribe are found guilty and will hereby serve four years of community service or pay 10,000 Gold pieces to CabbageCorp."

"But…"

"Haha! Welcome to CabbageCorp my young apprentice!"

"Judge! Is there any way I can get out of this?!"

"Unless you manage to come up with 10,000 gold pieces, you're screwed…"

"Listen here Mr. Cabbageman… I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse. I am going to let you use one of my ideas to get your leafy company off the ground… but I have to get fifty percent of the proceeds and be no longer legally bound to serve you."

"Whoa whoa whoa, I don't think you understand your predicament my little Cabbagelet, you are bound by law to make me 10,000 gold pieces or serve four years as my personal servant."

"Hah! They never said I couldn't cut a deal with ya. Besides, with my idea you will be able to buy an entire island. Just think about it, "The Country of Cabbage."

"Forget about that cabbage peddling filth, you don't have to work for him." A familiar looking man yelled from the back of the room.

_Where have I seen that guy before… I know! He was selling corn across the street from the cabbageman! Now what was his name?Bong? Bang? Bonzu? Bing! Yea, he was kinda givin cabbagehead the evil eye, so he can't be that bad. "_Really?! I must have some cabbage still stuck in my ear, cause I heard that I got sentenced to serve community service at CabbageCorp for four years"

"Or pay 10,000 gold pieces,"Bing said with a wide smile

"And where am I going to get that much money?"

"You and I go into business together! You get funds for your invention and seventy percent of the proceeds! Plus, all you can eat corn!"

"And what do you get?"

"I get the satisfaction of knowing that," Bing raised his voice to a shout "VILE, CHEATING, NO GOOD CABBAGEBRAIN, doesn't get an island…"

"Deal. Now here's my idea, It's like an Ostrich-horseless carriage powered by an engine, I like to call it the"

"CornCorpCart! I Love it, it's perfect! A "C to the third" on a piece of corn could be the logo!" Bing wrapped his arm around Sokka and said, "My friend, this is just the beginning, First CornCorpCarts, then… well that's all I have planned for now…

-жФЖФж-

Sorry, couldn't resist a little extra Cabbageman epilogue… now you know how Cabbageman got CabbageCorp off the ground 10,000 gold pieces and overhearing Sokka's talk with Bing. I am not really good at writing Bing, Icame up with him but he is actually a character from Stkichi's fic, the Deserted and Forgotten. That's a great story so go check it out.( s/8949504/1/The-Deserted-and-Forgotten ) I guarantee you'll love it or double your money back!

-жФЖФж-

Sokka ran through the woods after the little thief who stole his boomerang. _Ooh when I catch that kid he is gonna get the paddling of a lifetime, or just a "Stealing is wrong lecture." Heh heh… if Katara was here it would be a, "Stealing is wrong, unless it's from pirates" lecture._ But this was now forgotten as Sokka noticed the boys hand spaz and drop his boomerang. Sokka then jumped on his boomerang and stroked the cobalt steel lovingly. "Boomy! I will never lose you again!" Sokka exclaimed. He looked back at the boy who had stolen his dear possession and saw him fleeing in what looked like terror. "Yea, you better run!" He cried out, "That'll teach you to take my stu-AAH!"

"Hello Sokka, long time no see…"

"Hama! How'd you get out of jail?!"

"Stop yelling young one, you're making my head hurt. To answer your question, I was let out of jail."

"Why would they ever let you out of jail! You were imprisoning them and forcing Katara to use a technique she never wanted to learn!"

"Why would Katara not want to learn bloodbending, it would have solved all of her problems and made Aang happy."

"How would that make Aang happy? He didn't seem too keen on the idea."

"Of Couse he didn't, I only bloodbent him and you to try to get Katara to see that bloodbending could be a viable way of immobilizing enemies without killing them. That's what Aang wanted to do right? Disable enemies without killing them. He did the same thing basically, he reached inside Ozai and stripped him of his bending. Permanently! If that is not on par or worse than bloodbending, I don't know what is…"

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So that's it for today, I hope you enjoyed it. Do go and Check out Stkichi's story, if I get feedback from him that some of you guys reviewed you will become more favored… and with more favor comes more power… you could be almost as powerful as Old Spice Oder Blocking Body Wash!(Let's see how many people get that reference…(Just google Terry Crews Old Spice)) but seriously, check it out, And again that link is s/8949504/1/The-Deserted-and-Forgotten

That is it guys that is all, five minutes in and I'm bored again. Ten years of this an I'm not sure if anybody understands.

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	9. We the bison(and dragons too)

Sokka on… The big flaming ball of power!

I just realized something… Old spice odor blocking body wash **is **so powerful it **can** turn off the sun! (The Day of Black Sun when firebenders mysteriously lost their bending abilities when in reality they should have fought like it was nighttime, unless the sun was turned off…) but then it got too cold(Firebenders couldn't warm themselves up)… So it created another sun! (Sozins comet) DOUBLE SUN POWWWERRR (More like 101 sun power)! (And then the firebenders attempt to blow everything up) you cannot deny that that commercial parallels those two events… ok das it for that commercial, it's just so funny! Anyways, here we go!

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During the 50th annual war ending celebration (So make sure to read in old man accents)

"You two! No, not Appa and Oogie. Who names a bison that anyways? Oogies are reserved for PDAs. Besides, why would I call for them!? No not you, Katara. Jerkbender and Airhead! Yes you two! Who else do I call Jerkbender and Airhead! Sheesh!"

"Calm down Sokka, what's going on?" Aang asked.

"I've had a question rolling around in my head for about thirty years that I always forgot to ask you. Where in the world did you find other Skybison! You were so convinced that Appa was the last one! And what is it with the lemurs! You said that Momo was the last one as well! Which in retrospect was pretty dumb… I mean come on, Momo isn't 100 years old so he must have brothers and sisters. So that makes sense, but again, where did you find bison!"

"Uhhh…"

"I thought so. So if Appa was able to find a mate and have kids, where are the dragons sparky?"

"Huh?"

"Remember, we knew there were two dragons, Ran and Shaw. If we have Skybison flying around left and right, where are the dragons? You did outlaw hunting them, Right?"

"Uuhh."

"You've got to be frikkin kidding me! After learning the true meaning of firebending you forget to outlaw hunting the very animals who you learned from! Unbelievable! Go now! Make that law. Graaahhh! Run you old man, run!"

"How could you not know about this, Avatar! I don't care if you were busy with the whole Harmony Restoration whoop de do da after the war, but seriously, you forgot about the dragons too!?

"Well it wasn't at the top of priorities, with the war ending I had to restore balance…"

"Isn't making sure that an entire species of animals essential to learning the true art of firebending keeping balance…"

"…"

"Yea I thought so… is that Bing…?"

"I ain't Bing no more! Get it, double negative makes a positive! Heh heh heh, (Breaks out coughing)Hack Hack Hack!"

"Just how old are you, Bing"

"Next week is my 94th birthday, Corn can work wonders for your health! Want some? You can get five for two yuans! Best price in town! Wait, it's the Cabbageman? That no good leaf dealer is here to steal my business! I'll show him!" Bing proceeds to whip out a small round object walks over to the cabbage cart and drops it into the cart. Whistling nonchalantly, he walks back to Sokka and Aang. "Heh heh"

"What was that, Bing?"

"Oh you'll see in, five, four, three, two, one, BOOOM!"

"My cabbages!"

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Anybody else have an explanation of why we don't see dragons in the LoK? Atarah Derek, any explanation? Anyone? Well that's it, go give _the Deserted and Forgotten_ a try, I am advocating for this story so much because it's a really good story that more people need to read, so let me help you by giving you this amazing story to check out. Apparently this site wonэt allow URLs so just it's just type stkichi into the author search bar and you can access the fic from there. I would like to publically thank winnieeo, stkichi, Digi-fanCapp, checkit789, the guest known as "Meteor Sword", Steph322971 and Atarah Derek for their reviews, and let them be an example for all. Four people probably took the time to read this bottom section…

До Свидания


	10. Sokka on Techno-logy!

Sokka on… Techno-logy…

Bye-Bye Miss American Apple Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levy then back cause there was no pie there. I got home and the pie was gone, eaten by my dad… So now I'm singing, "This'll be the day that I die!" Apple pie is delicious! Luckily, I arrived in time to have the last slice. Pre-calc has taken up most my day cause I was a little behind. But here is the story. Hopefully I'll post it before 12 PM… but before we get into the grit let me say thanks to CI! Or AI… what do you think is better, Coolness Incarnate, or Awesomeness Incarnate? Well you guys are both no matter what. But the top AI/CI awards go to in the order of first to last to review: Steph32297l, Digi-fanCapp, Atarah Derek, Stkichi, and Titan18Gamble. You guys proved that you deserve to be CI/AI! Anyways, let's keep on keepin on! Did I forget to mention that this fic has no timeline, its just "A big ball of wibbly wobbley timey wimey" as our good friend Atarah Derek has said before. Well that's what it is…

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_Press conference, Republic City 43 years after Ozai's fall._

"People of all nations, I have gathered you and all of the world leaders here to discuss major issues with the development and implementation of the new inventions in our world today. For the past 10,000 years our world was at a stalemate. Then suddenly we had a bloom of ingenuity in the Firenation. We started seeing metal ships, ballista's, trebuchets, and other brilliant weapons of war. But then, thankfully, another technological lapse. Another 100 years passed and we get the hot air balloon. Then, in a matter of months we see the war balloon, a model 10,000 times better than its predecessor and possessing a lift capability so great that it was able to be fully clad in steel. Fast forward another forty years and you see my friend Bing and I create the corn powered combustion engine. What is wrong with this picture? The world hadn't seen a technological update since Omashu was founded! They were using bows and arrows then and we are still seeing those employed by the Yu Yan. At this rate we will be able to remotely detonate explosive substances without using a fuse, have bending powered cannons, and have boats that will travel over 100 kph within the next thirty five years which has been dubbed 1985 for unknown reasons. When 2015 comes around I expect to see flying cars, auto-tying laces, pizza hydrators, and telephones that look like sunglasses."

"What's a telephone?'

"What are sunglasses?"

"What the frikkin junk is a pizza!? Nonetheless a hydrator!?"

"AM I DONE YET! NO! SO SHUT THE BLOODY HECK UP BEFORE I SLICE YOU UP TINY BITE SIZED PIECES WITH SPACE SWORD!"

"But you don't have space sword anymore."

"Wrong thing to say buddy" Sokka said darkly as he lifted the handle on his back partially up to reveal a gleaming black blade."

"Aw ****…"

As the offender reached the edge of the crowd Sokka pulled out boomerang and whipped it towards the delinquent reporter. "Thwack," Boomerang contacted the base of the skull effectively knocking out the reporter. "I'll deal with him later. Anymore questions?" Sokka asked as he slid a slightly bloody Boomerang back into its case, "I didn't think so. Now where were we?"

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Ok FOOB (First order of Business), in the asterisked(*)(is that how you spell it?) area above I didn't feel like "Crap" could really portray the sense of doom the reporter was feeling, and as to maintain my K+ rating I don't put anything. But I decided that, since Sokka hadn't addressed the public yet with his concerns, he should do so now. I also wanted to bring to your attention an inconsistency in the LoK and ATLA. Remember the origins of earthbending in "The Cave of Two Lovers" It said that humans learned from the bagermloes, and in one of the episodes where Sokka is at the north pole, Yue mentions that humans first learned to waterbend by watching the moon or something like that. Yet, in LoK, Lionturtles gave everyone their bending. They didn't learn it. You think that Mike & Bryan would know what they were writing…

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	11. Sokka on Black Sunny Days

**Sokka on… The Invasion**

The invasion, brilliant idea but when the enemy knows your plan, it will fall apart. Welcome to Sokka's take on the invasion and the events leading up to it. We have a new member to AI/CI! Welcome, sandypenguin6, to the club! So far our most recent active members consist of Steph32297l, Altarah Derek (I have no clue what the Avatar Abridged series is but now you've peaked my interest), stkichi, and Digi-fanCapp. The two honorary members for the week consist of kingofnerdssince2013, and the guest known as "Guest". Very creative name. So let us continue with, as I have said before, wacky time wasting nonsense. Jackson 5 music: Playing. Eyes: barely open. Determination level of getting this chapter out tonight: Max. Rambling level: High. Overall: Another average night for fanfic writing. Music shuffle: On, Some Nights: Playing. Happiness level: up 3 points.

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"Some Nights I stay up wondering why firebenders can still bend during the night when they can't during an eclipse, some nights I attribute it to nonsense!" Sokka belted out after exiting the building known as "Giant Friendly Mushrooms." "Hey Toph, wasn't I right when I said cactus juice was the quenchiest!"

"Yea…Whoa… you have huge ears…"

"No! I refuse to be called a giant eared cretin again!"

"I wasn't talking to you Cact man, I was tellin Binger here that his corn ears were looking extra large tonight. And friendly too!"

"Thanks Toph me bucko! Though I'm not sure that mushrooms are the only thing that look big and friendly when on cactus juice. Wait a minute… your just evil, Toph."

"Mwahahahaha! I'm not Toph, I'm the Cactus Lord!"

"Ahh good times. Remember on the day of black sun when the airships came to destroy the subs? Why the heck did we surrender!? With your earthsight we could've bent a tunnel away from the battle and to the airship berths. Then we could've waited for the airships to resupply then taken one of them. Or we could've made another tunnel to the firelord's bunker and lead the invasion force through it. If we avoided the lava we could've won! What about when we were advancing to the tower. We were taking out ballistas left and right from the air. But we just had to land and let my dad get hurt."

"Yea you guys didn't make the brightest decisions that day. On the other hand, corn sales in the caldera were massive the days before your invasion!"

"Wait, WHAT!"

"I probably sold 500 gold worth of corn the week before the invasion. I had to have 15 corn fetchers just to keep up with the demand!"

"What were you doing in the fire nation capital? I thought you were earth kingdom."

"I am, but I go where the corn sales take me. Corn knows no bounds!"

"Wait a second, how would we not figure out that our plan had been botched the second Ba Sing Se fell? I mean come on, we told Kuei! He isn't exactly the type to keep his mouth shut."

"Well that was a little off topic… what is that… Aw heck no!" Bing exclaimed.

"IT'S A GIANT CABBAGE! MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY! FRIENDLY CABBAGE! CRUNCHY GIANT LEAFY FRIIIIIEEEENNNNND!" (I wonder who that is…)

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Well that's it for tonight, I have Sea cadets tomorrow through the weekend so I might not be up for posting on Monday. I'll see if I can, but chances are that I'll be exhausted. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and drop a review by clicking the review button that is located near the bottom of the page. As it always has been. If I got a review from each of my followers, you guys would put me in a happy coma. I want to be in a happy coma! You have the power! And all it takes is less than 60 seconds of your time. I don't see why the heck you wouldn't! Help a brother out. Even if it just says "keep on keepin on" and it's copied and pasted from this paragraph, it helps. Ok enough, Thanks CI/AI for your awesome reviews! Keep on keepin on with them! Also, I would like you guys to try to give me some ideas of what to do next. Voice your opinion! How bout Sokka on… Cactus juice? Come on you know you like the title. That's all folks! Now to go review the stories I read.

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